I posted a wonderful quote by my old mate Amir Zoghi yesterday and it really hit a chord with me.
“From the bottom of your heart,
seek what makes you sing and once you find it,
do nothing but sing your song.
Chance everything to dance to your tune.”
It says in a nutshell what my heart had literally screamed at me for the last 20 years!
Unfortunately I was a big ol’ chicken! Petrified of stepping too far out of my comfort zone, risking all I believed I had built up, and worse still looking like a raving lunatic in front of all my fancy friends haha!
‘Letting go’ certainly wasn’t conducive to the lifestyle and image I was trying to portray and create! The one I ‘thought’ was going to make me happy.
Don’t you think it is strange the power ‘fitting in’ has over us? Is being seen as ‘normal’ or ‘successful’ really so important we are willing to sacrifice the happiness of our entire life, to satisfy the critical eye of the few who we call our peers.
For me I banged my head on life everyday hoping for different results. Maybe one day life would crack and I’d wake up without a ‘headache,’ I thought!
Of course in a head banging contest life always wins, and eventually as the ‘pain relievers’ and ‘distractions’ I had used to numb myself over the years wore off, there was and ever increasing realisation that, this AIN’T WORKING!
This human trait of ‘self’ preservation, to ‘stay within our box’ no matter what the price,’ has always fascinated me.
How can we want to change so much but be so terrified of the consequences.
Especially when these days the consequences are hardly being cast out of the tribe to starve to death in Jurassic park.
Our self image is a powerful thing and we defend it literally to the death.
But what exactly is it? What is pride? Fear? Ego? Self Image? – It is the exact reflection of that which we believe we are missing or will lose. (Think about that for a second)
We create our self image and defend it so passionately because it compensates for what we believe we are NOT! It is our smoke screen, our sanctuary from the scary world around us. Like the puffer fish that blows itself up when frightened to look twice its size!
Even a poor self image protects us from taking risks that might involve humiliation or emotional pain.
Like a lover with rose coloured glasses in an abusive relationship. We see only the protection it gives us and not the pain the self critic inflicts on us, or the freedom and life it is keeping us from.
So how do you Let Go of this controlling old ‘lover’ and really live?
For me its been surprisingly simple! once i figuerd it out. (Although it took 20 years I admit)
Find YOUR song. And sing it with all your heart. Stop second guessing yourself and trying to sing other peoples song’s
Just like any song it will have high notes and low. You don’t have to know how it ends, or even what the next line is, you just have to sing what is given to you with all your heart.
And you may find, as I have done much to my surprise, that others in this world will be singing along with you!
UPDATE:- AMAZING INTERVIEWS
We have already started interviewing some amazing people with some life altering ideas. We will be showing these interviews when the new Video Blog is set up, and discussing with you the topics they cover. So stick around and PLEASE be part of the conversation, so we can learn from you too.
July 31st, 2010
35 Comments on "SING YOUR SONG- Before the tune runs out!"
How very comforting it is, to hear you say it took you 20 years to figure out how you wanted to live! I can well remember years of feeling lost, but I kept myself in the “safe zone” doing what I thought was necessary in my “normal” life as a single parent! In retrospect, though, all I feel now is gratitude for finally recognizing the gypsy that I knew I really was, and for seeing the opportunity that presented itself (once my kids were grown) for me to turn myself loose and sing my song!
Can hardly wait for those interviews you’re doing — y’all just ROCK!
I have not accessed you website for a while and enjoyed reading of your openday and the last too postings re the success for it all. No doubt you are now well on your way and hopefully any bumps you encounter will be inspired by you philosphy so far.
I have one thing to share and that is, I am the way I am and if you don’t like what you see or the way I am, too bad. I try to do no illwill to anyone and even though I can be frustrated with the best of them I am happy and relaxed with myself.
Last weekend I watched my daughter get married and embark on her own life. Now I find that for the first time in 20 years of being a single parent doing what ever I had to just to get by, that those days are all but over now. For the first time I have the chance to look inside and find out who I want to be and where I want to go. Someone asked me recently what would I most like to be remembered for and I realised that I haven’t yet done the things I would most like to be remembered for (apart from being a mum of course which is all important in itself). I would really like to work for myself in design but financial restraints have always prevented me. So instead I have had to fit someone else’s mould of what they want me to be to further their careers and I feel that I have never reached my potential. As you say in Viva La Difference though, I have had to fit in to a mould to get by and be secure . I feel this has kept me down but it is scary to think about changing.
Someone sent me a link to this page, and I was really pleased to see such a great message; a message the world needs to hear so badly!!
I think your readers will be interested in seeing the trailer for an amazing film called “The Universal Song”. It’s just been posted on youtube, but you can also see it at the website: http://www.theuniversalsong.com
It is really filmic and beautiful, and it is all about ’singing your song’. Go and watch it, leave a comment or leave you email. Get on board, guys! Tell your friends. The world so badly needs this message to be spread!
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