The experiment has definitely clicked into the next phase. It seems as if the rains have washed away some of the old city energy that was hanging on to. As we slowly slide into the realization that we are not going to get away with brining our old selves on this trip much longer.
I noticed last week that even out here in the beauty, peace and distance from my former existence its all to easy to hold onto the old you.
This hit home the other night as I sat out watching the stars and listening to the waves, and to be honest I just couldn’t ‘feel; it…. I knew it was beautiful and I knew I was supposed to feel lucky, at peace, inspired…..anything! But I felt some how disconnected. Numb! And no amount of ‘positive thinking’ or mental gymnastics seemed to be able to change the nagging thought that I was missing something!
This crucial ‘Missing Link’ has bugged me for years and in essence has been a driving force in all my study and research.
What is that stimuli, switch, thought process, practice, realisation or whatever? That almost magical moment when someone who has behaved or thought one way all their life, suddenly and irreversibly decides to thinks and behave another.
This turning point to me is akin to the Holy Grail. Imagine what you could achieve if you knew how to access it, and change what you were doing, into what you really wanted to be doing.
So I thought back to my own leaps of inspiration through the door of change. Or in many cases lack there of.
For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be the type of person who grabs life with both hands and squeezes every last drop out of it. Not scared of what other people thought. Yt most of my like i have been terrified
I wanted to wake in the morning with a deep sense of love for my life. A heartfelt purpose and a congruence that ran through every cell in my body. Yet most of my adult life I have had a rather uncomfortable feeling that life was passing me by and a hollow sense of longing for something more than this.
Despite my apparent desire to ‘be more’, my fervent research, tears of frustration and bottles of vodka to drown the depression of being ‘less’ than i wanted to be, I just couldn’t shake off the old me.
A LIFE CHANGING REALISATION
After much meditation on this matter, the powerful words from that great book, ‘conversations with God’ sprang to mind……. HAVE YOU HAD ENOUGH YET?
I realised this was the first part of my answer. As long as we haven’t, ‘had enough’. As long as the ‘old us’ is still serving us in some way, we will always remain this side of the changing room door.
The next thing I was surprised to discover was that most of what holds us back from achieving the change we want, is simply our labels! The words and boxes we use to catagorise ourselves, others and the things we are doing.
In effect our ability to change, lives and dies by the words we use to describe it.
If you say “I want to be a good person,’ You are making yourself a ‘good person box’, that you can now fall out of to become a ‘bad person’.
If you what to do something ‘different’ with your life, or ‘change’ you have created two more boxes that others can laugh at, label, judge, disapprove of ,be criticized about, not live up to, fail or fall out of.
The TRUTH about flow is it never asks you to change anything. You just do it because it’s the natural next step to take. And in that DOING you are given everything you need.
So do you want to change?…….REALLY.
IF the answer is deep down NO. Then stop beating yourself up trying, and just enjoy being the you, you are. Eventually as they say, ‘this too will pass’.
If the answer is YES. Then begin by stopping the ‘wanting to’ and the ‘how to’ and step forward into ‘DOING’…..ANYTHING!! But with NO internal dialogue needing answers, solutions validation or anything else. Clear your mind and, ‘JUST DO IT’!
With your mind clear and no need for answers there can be no argument from your subconciouse. The part that is responsible for all your sabotaged efforts
When I discovered this it was like a light went on AT LAST!!
JUST REMEMBER. You can guarantee your change whatever it is, it wont work itself out the way your limited preconceived mind expects it wil. But if you hold off on your internal judgments and let nature work its course you can guarantee, it will work. And YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN J
July 31st, 2010
4 Comments on "Hints to the Holy Grail of Change"
Your words have really touched my heart. Just moments before I actually read them I was walking around thinking to myself ‘I really want to change, but I really don’t know what to do about it.’ This is not a new thought, it’s something that I have been struggling with for quite some time now. I have always had this sense of feeling disconected to the world and the people that are around me. For this reason I have spent many years looking for answers and taking steps to work towards living a passionate life that has purpose. Recently I let go of the things that I felt didn’t serve my life anymore (including my job), sounds drastic, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. Now I feel like I am in transit, not going backwards but not moving forwards either….
So YES I really want change, but honestly I’m not sure what I should be doing next to build momentum. Am I impatient,am I missing or not getting something? Most probably, so I am looking forward to that moment when the light comes on!
In the meantime it is heartwarming to read the your words (those of a total stranger) and feel connected to them. Thanks!
Hi Geoff,
Your blog today was amazing. I really connected to it. I somehow feel as if we are going on a similar journey at the same time
I’m reading a book by Osho at the moment and thought you might like this bit:
“Don’t expect anything in the future. Don’t corrupt it. Because if all your expectations are fulfilled then too you will be miserable… because it is your expectation and it is fulfilled. You will not be happy about it. Happiness is possibly only through surprise; happiness is possible only when something happens which you never expected, when something takes you completely unawares. If your expections are fulfilled a hundred percent, you will be living as if you are in the past, not in the future.”
Enjoy your journey!
Kristy
An amazing piece of insight I to have thought and acted it seems the same way most of my life,as though stuck in some sort of groove,what I’d realy like to know maybe more than the winning lotto numbers is,how to obtain ‘peace of mind’.
I read your Blog because I had an email about your seminar at Coffs Harbour. I change my life periodically by joining a new group and meeting new people. I need my security in my mature years to be so radical as to change everything. I wish you all the best in life.
Suzanne in Sawtell
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