I met a man the other day who at the age of 4 was told by his father that he loved him, right before he watched him blow his head of with a shotgun under his chin. His head literally rolled around the room and this little boy couldn’t understand what happened, so he ran over and threw himself on his mutilated father trying to get him to stand up.
A few years later when he was about 10 his mother cryptically mentioned that if he was ever in trouble he should go to the wayside chapel. Shortly after she killed herself.
He was then given to foster parents who as soon as he had learnt to love and trust them, tragically died in an accident.
As you can imagine his life was drastically colored by these events, and he went from job to job, relationship to relationship totally unable to build meaningful connections. Afraid to death that something bad would happen if he did.
This lead to hundreds of jobs, lost loves, depression, loneliness, drugs, booze and eventually homelessness.
Its easy for us to judge others against our own yard stick of experiences, but I wondered how I might have turned out had I walked a mile in this mans shoes.
Sitting talking to him the other day at the Wayside chapel in Sydney, a well known charity house that helps the homeless get back on their feet, I was struck by two things that have played over in my mind since.
Not only is this guy now fully recovered, and an active, loving member of the staff at the Wayside, but he looked me straight in the eye and said “ You know Geoff, when I look back I wouldn’t change a thing”.
I was stunned into silence for a moment by this comment. I have always believed in the all pervading balance of nature. The fact that ‘bad experience’ and ‘good experience’ are two sides of the same coin if we look close enough and don’t get caught up in our own drama. But here was someone who was not just talking the talk but walking the walk.
This kind of ‘God like’ perception, able to view the ‘whole’ of the events rather than the thin slice of dramatic and painful parts we label our reality is a rare talent. And the amzing thing was how he came by this much sort after perception……. Not a self help book in site!
Some years ago with his mothers words ringing in his ears he found himself at the wayside chapel scared to death to go in. As he waited outside a truck pulled up and people started unloading supplies. The driver yelled ‘hey mate give us a hand’ and from that moment 6 years ago until now, he has done nothing but give others a hand.
This simple almost thought less act, repeated every day with enthusiasum, not only cured his drug and alcohol addiction, but his decades of emotional scaring. He told me all his life he had thought about himself but the act of thinking first about others totally broke the bonds of pain he had wrapped himself up in.
The Motto of the wayside chapel is ‘don’t try and fix anyone – simply ’see’ them also really struck a chord with me.
We try so hard to fix ourselves and others when all anyone really craves is to be acknowledged and loved for who they are.
That day was a powerful lesson for me on many levels. I hope there will be many more on our journey .
Dr John Demartini one of my fave speakers says :-
If you want to have a happier life look outside yourself and help your family. If you want to have a happier family, help your community. If you want to have a happier community, help your city. If you want to have a happier city, help your country and if you want to have a happier country think globally.
Thats what my friend at wayside lived by and thats what i intend to do to 
July 31st, 2010
13 Comments on "A man with one hell of a story"
I too am totally blown away by this guys testimony. Wow!! To come through all he has been through and come out the other end a shining example to all of us. we all tend to walk around in ’self-pity’ – feeling sorry for ourselves because of past events or even current ones. But this guys testimony stopped me in my tracks – he made me think “Hey, you might be ill, you might be in constant pain, but take a look at where i have been and where i am now” I really want to thank you for posting his story, and hope that all is going well with your BIG ADVENTURE!!Blessings to you all.Lyn (-:
I think that most people could say that they have a story similar to that one. Not necessarily as tragic but none the less a story that others could look at and say “how tragic, how did you cope”. If we all hold out our hands and lend just one person a helping hand then our world would be so much brighter. We would all be able to sleep easy and forget for just a little while the tragedies we have endured. Imagine what it would be like if we were able to dedicate just a couple of hours a month on a regular basis to help out those that need a helping hand. I think we would all be humbled just a little bit and it would help for us to remind ourselves just what wonderful people we really are.
hi guys ,
i truly belive this statement right now , only up to a few weeks ago i was having a hard time trying to find myself after so long , i was moody depressed , even thinking of ending it all . then right at that moment i had an opportunity to do what i love doing and be somewhere i wanted to be “with the musicians that had been encouraging me to get myself , a guitarist {noticed} , i went to the local gig after a fight with my family that could have ended in a bad way , and was greeted by the local guys i grew up with here , asking me to get back playing my guitar on stage . but then it occured to me that i was not the only person in a global way that has talent needing a fair go ..
now all my time is devoted to getting the groundwork through local studios and other means to make a studio where the artist can record at a proffessionial level for free and support back into local communities and other charities..
my life has a purpose , and thanks to everyones support im recording an album and happy with life , so if there is anyone out there who wants to help get some guitars or a mixing desk towards the studio , i would be forever greatfull..
thanks for your blog , it was life changing..
Doug lundstedt
tas
Awesome Geoff. Suddenly my bad day seems trivial! x
this gentlemans past life is amazing. iam so touched by the true story.We all think we have problems but then when you hear of a nother person problems and past it makes you stand up and learn!!!!
This man really inspires me not to give up!!!! just as iam hitting a bad time right now in my life… thankyou with all of my heart and god bless you….
I guess this is part of the whole experiment isnt it mate. Coming across someone like that is inspirationally challenging, scary and downright amazing. Thanks for sharing the story. Take care.
You rocked my world with this story thanks heaps! I was going to sleep!
Hi what a tragic story with a wonderful ending. How true it is to give, my father always said to me if I had a $1.00 for every meal I had cooked for others over the yrs I would be rich. Well maybe not rich but alot more financial. I have had some rough times, lent money never to be seen again rented to stangers but I have been paying it forward for 35 yrs. I have recently started my own business and give discounts all the time, I wonder if i’m in the wrong job. I give too much but I feel great for it.I even recently shared a motel room i had booked,thinking it had a dble bunk and single bed. When I had offered to share my accom. with a stranded couple from LA in Brisbane. When we entered the room it only had a double bed. Shocked I said it was ok and I folded the quilt from the bed on the floor and gave them the bed. They had a bigger trip than me next day. All I said was pay it forward. 3mths later i recieved american money thanking me covering the cost of the room. We all just have to have faith in this crazy mixed up world and believe in people the more you give the better you feel. so to everyone out there give a little and you will get satisfaction.
Lynette
I must admit that I read this story at least 3 times and got a buzz out of it each time. We are all capable of lifting oneself out of these situations, but sometimes we just need that little push. With all the problems Marion and I have gone through many people have said “how did you cope?” There is only one answer to this question and it really is quite simple,we woke up this morning to another beautiful day and what more could we want? Life is too short to worry about what if’s. Another day to make more friends and help where ever we can. Yes it feels wonderful. All the best for the trip, Peter.
Life is short and for the majority life is a bliss, but for the minority life is not so good. But the two balances have to be, so that our world is not a bore. The rich help the poor, the poor put their love into people who are wanting to be loved and the wanting to be loved put their lives into loving animals and finding their boundaries. This brings much satisfaction to these people and slowly their lives turn around. Maybe not all the way: but during their life’s journey, these people always have an interesting story to tell. That’s what makes planet earth very interesting. Yes, we live in paradise, whether we’re rich, not so rich or very poor. As we are only the planet with life on it, and a very small planet at that, we are so lucky to have all the chemicals here on earth to make it support life. So if you hear wingers on your journey, please let them know that life is a bliss on our beautiful planet.
This man you have met was ment-to-be to remind you of how lucky you, your wife and child are. Good luck with your trip and hope you meet many more of these people as a constant reminder of how lucky we all are.
I truly believe, the easiest way to find yourself is to
’simply let go’, this is a perfect example.
Wow what a wonderful story.
I too had lots to think about from my childhood and upon doing a course on Sacred Contracts…saw my life as one golden opportunity instead of feeling a victim. Thank you Shirley!
What a wonderful inspiring story and great courage that this young man has to get his life together like that after all of the life experiences he had faced.
Pleased to hear you are on your journey and I am sure you will enjoy every thing that you see, Australia has many wonderful hidden places that are off the beaten track. Enjoy every day !
iris
wollongong
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