February 1st, 2011
What a strange week. I think it’s the transition from one life to another that has had me a little out of sorts this last week. The body resists letting go of what it has known for so many years, and old fears showing themselves as new frustrations. Doing their level best to try n keep me from stepping to far out of my well worn comfort zones.
This transition stage is quite uncomfortable not least because of the added frustrations, doubts and unhelpful inner dialogue that always seems to go along with any kind of change.
It really is amazing what lengths the mind will go to to keep us ‘safe’ from making the terrible mistake of actually doing something more with our lives isn’t it. haha
Anyway quite by chance we started our journey late yesterday after going to visit and talk to the guys at the disable riders club near Newcastle. A young disabled girl called Madeline gave us the tour and showed us the dressage riding routine she was going to do in national competition next month.
Madeline had an aura of ‘can do’ about her that would make most able bodied people blush. Aside from starting her own successful hat making company she was a competitive equestrian and volunteered a full day a week to help people ‘less fortunate than herself’ at other charities. And all from the apparent confines of her disability.
Now our society loves to highlight people with disadvantages who really have a go at life. It appears to us able bodied people to take great courage, to be somehow noble or clever. The fact is Madeline and the others at the disable centre are simply trying to extract out of life what is theirs to be taken.
And unlike a good many of us, worrying about what we are not, or what we haven’t, they concentrate on what they are and what they have, to do just that.
So why is it so hard for us ? Because the part of our minds responsible for achieving incredible things is a survival mechanisum. Helping us to protect the part of us we value most.
Lets remember that all great achievements are created by people who are able to put enormous value on a particular thing, belief, idea or pursuit.
If you believed the survival of yourself, your self worth, your self respect or your family honestly depended on how good you were at making trifle. You can bet you would make a pretty damn good trifle
However the business of survival has been rather cut short these days and you are more likely to die from embarrassment than from a wild animal. Starve of affection before starving of food and be frozen out by your peers rather than shivering your way to an icy death. So your brain dutifully goes to work protecting what its told is currently of greatest importance to it TODAY.
Unfortunately for most of us that means our SELF IMAGE! And CHANGE directly messes with that. From the humiliation of potential failure or peer scrutiny, to the discomfort of effort and the harsh embarrassment of real self reflection.
Its kind of weird that the only thing that is holding most of us back is actually the very thing that will drive us forward when we take a little time to reassign its priorities.
Anyway – just thought I would share this with you as Maddys efforts reflected so vividly the lack in my own.
Thanks Madeline for this simple unspoken reminder.
BELLINGEN & COFFS
This week we are moving up to these lovely areas. So anyone nearby do please let us know. We are ESPECIALLY keen to discover some hidden treats. Maybe you know some fascinating people, or weird and wonderful locals who may help us put an interesting slant on life and change
THE SECRETS AND SCIENCE OF MEN AND WOMEN IN LOVE
Most people ‘put up with’ their relationships. Considering they take up such a huge amount of out time, energy, emotions and resources this is INSANITY.
So if the latest research on the science of men, women and relationship happiness, is something you think is worth spending as little as an hour on, to improve the rest of your life. Then drop me a line
Im looking forward to restarting my one on one and group relationship workshops. Based around my best selling book and relationships Super Session you can read a little more about them on my website www.geoffbarker.info.
For more info or to book when im in your area please drop me an email geoff@geoffbarker.info
11 Comments on "Thanks for the lessons Maddy"
I read Maddy’s story and it brings me back to reality. The last couple of days I have been in “woe is me mode”. The truth is that I have a disability too. Not that it is a recocnised disability that wont go away but more one that comes and goes. It is a disability of thinking that visits now and then and tells me that ‘I am not good enough’ or that ‘I cant do’ and because of that my way of thinking and moving forward becomes crippled. Maddy’s story reminds me that with possitive thinking and a little belief in myself and others around me that I can achieve and I will achieve. I guess we all need to be reminded of that every now and then. Thankyou geoff, Bessie and Bluebell for sharing your stories.
It’s really amazing to see a person like you Maddeleine. It only shows people can do all things possible….yes there’s ups and downs but the good thing is learned and be contented as you just said “And unlike a good many of us, worrying about what we are not, or what we haven’t, they concentrate on what they are and what they have, to do just that.”…. and for you couple Mr & Mrs. I was really fascinated for what you just did…..God bless you.
WHAT A PLEASURE IT IS TO READ SOME “REAL” STUFF ON THE INTERNET!..HELPFUL, HONEST, CHALLENGING, MOTIVATING, CARING, COMPASSIONATE AND TRUTHFUL SHARING, THAT CAN AND WILL ENCOURAGE ALL THOSE WHO NEED TO BE. BLESSINGS FOLKS AND SAFE TRAVELLING..
Hey guys!! This is such a nice thing to come home to after the big Melbourne Cup day! I’m glad that my story has helped you and others in some way. I guess I’m one of those people who see opportunities and run with it.
Seeing my life from someone else’s perspective has been very interesting and to see the effect on which I have on people.
Something I wanted to mention yesterday and I forgot was that I’ve started a petition going for getting appropriate accommodation built in Newcastle for young people with high care needs. Currently many young people with high care needs end up in nursing homes because there is no other option for them. If you guys could promote it and also sign it yourself, it would greatly be appreciated. You can visit it at http://www.gopetition.com.au/online/31338.html
I enjoyed meeting the three of you yesterday and I do hope that our paths cross again soon. Thanks for taking the time to come and see me! love you! Mads xoxo
i can only say what an inspiration, and God bless you Madeline. made me cry…
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Thanks for sharing your wonderful journey. It’s an honour to share it with you, and you are an inspiration. We have decided to do a similar life change journey in 2011, and your openness and willingness to be inclusive is inspiring and grounding. Have fun, and enjoy Bellingen. When and if you are reaching further North to Mullumbimby and then further to the Whitsundays, blog away and let us know, for I know some special people in those areas who have also been inspirational in my life. Love and light and more strength to you. Themis x
Great Stuff Geoff, Bessie and Bluebell: you are all off to a wonderful start on your journey. Take care, keep wise and always have that third eye where ever you travel. Looking forward to your next chapter.
Thanks for sharing Maddy’s story. What an incredible, caring “no feeling sorry for herself” sweet person she is. Everyone should take a leaf out of her book. Thank you so much.
“The Secrets???? & Science of Men & Women In Love” This is an easy one. It is no Secret – Just accept each other for who and what you are. Loving and enjoying as well as accepting each others attributes just as much as the faults & failings that all go to make up the character/ the person. It has to be an unconditional and a complete embrace.
Some people think love is trying to change the other for their own good. To make them a better person. This is not so. If the other wants to change they will do that themselves. If you ever think a person needs changing then leave it alone this is not LOVE of the marrying kind. Im sure you get where this goes.
I live at the Gateway to the Bellingen- Urunga where the Honey Place is on the Highway. Lovely Honey there and is good for you too. Do stop and take a look at the town it is lovely and there are some real stories here in this very small place. We have just survived some of the worst floods in the history of the town this year and we are looking good for Christmas. You must visit the Pub in town on the two rivers(Bellengen & Kalang) where they go into the sea. Great meals there too. Then take a walk on the boardwalk I know you will be impressed. So do remember to stop in. I will be watching out for you. I am the little sparrow who was so generously given the laptop for my friend the reverand. If you are passing do call in. I am sure you still have my details. Travel safe and be well. littlesparrow45. Just in case I do not see you Have a happy and peaceful Christmas with all the joy and blessings you seek out of this life. Christmas 2009
When you get to URUNGA do a very hard right turn at the first turn on the right past the Shell Petrol Station on your right as you go North. Then go 2 minutes up the road to No.27 on High Street. I’l put the kettle on and we can have a chat. I can thank you in the quiet of the country.
Regards Littlesparrow45
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