Comments on: The upside of being down

By: Rachel

Rachel — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 14:12:33 +0000

Hi Geoff. I also know someone close to me that committed suicide. He was 31 with 2 young children. Its such a hard situation to deal with, no offence but you are lucky you got through it. Even over time, it is very hard, I suffer from depression myself now also. But I dont think Id do the same thing due to that experience. People that do go through with it dont realise how much it hurts everyone else around them, family, friends etc, it changes our lives so much as well. We need a better mental healthcare system in Australia, there is no place for mentally ill people to go. That is part of the problem. I respect what you are trying to do but we really need to address these issues in society, some of these people need REAL medical help.

By: Shell

Shell — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 01:03:58 +0000

We can all get depressed sometimes, but lately when I feel like I have hit rock bottom or at my lowest, I remind myself of my blessings and what I have to feel graetful for – loving husband, beautiful son who both put a smile on my face everyday. I always put on my favourite music to lift me up when I am feeling down or pop on my favourite movie. I have a list of things to lift me up and normally pick one or two.

By: Larissa Zimmerman

Larissa Zimmerman — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 11:29:06 +0000

Wow Geoff. Thank you for sharing. And all the great comments. I tried suicide many, many years ago and obviously didn’t succeed. Unfortunately my younger brother did succeed in 2004 and only now, years later, I can say it’s one of the best things that’s happened to me. It was the biggest wake up call of my life and of course, I wish it didn’t happen but now I compare all pain to that reference point. It was a long road out of the fog (both times) and now people can’t believe I’m not on drugs (because I’m so happy all the time).
Indeed mental fitness is just like physical fitness – we need to maintain it almost daily. The great thing is that once it becomes a habit it’s actually hard to get depressed for too long, because that’s not your “norm” anymore.
Maybe because it’s late at night I’m more D&M but would like to say I admire you both and will help spread the word by placing a link to this site in our next newsletter. I did something similar by selling up my house and packing up my business last year to go to Hawaii to be with the man of my dreams. Without a plan for the first time in my life, it all went belly up 10 days after arrival. How I coped can be seen here http://www.mentalorganism.com/2008_10_01_archive.html
And I LOVED YOUR BOOK “What’s on a man’s mind?” Should be read in schools!!

By: Robyn

Robyn — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 04:39:39 +0000

I am suffering the kind of depression which comes through heartbreak and the stab in the back. I thought I was only going to have to deal with a breakup, but now I am dealing with the double vandiction of my bf n gf. They both saw each other behind my back and had intimate relations.
My mum says, I will get over it, and I know eventually you do, but to have to go through it, is the worst part of being alive.
thank you for your article.

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 05:50:53 +0000

No one likes being depressed but – the up side for me is this, if you have never been down in the valleys how can you possibly appreciate the mountain peaks? One of the most important hing when you are down is to continue to be able to look up! Part of getting out of those valleys is looking up at the mountain top! Focusing up, away from your own probelms is always the way out. It restores perspective.
Shakespeare: “nothing is so bad as thinking makes it so”[or pretty close - Hamlet]
Someone is always worse off than you are. When tempted to think you are alone in the %$@#!&* think of the folk wherever in the world the latest disaster has hit.
As Wilbeforce said: “There but for the grace of God go I”.
But for a combination of fortunate things you were not there when the fire, tsunami, earthquake, flood etc hit. You were not caught in the middle of a war, famine, plague. You were not enslaved, mugged, glassed or any other of an infinite number of horrors. You are free to help!
Reorient to the positive and think how to be an answer rather than part of a problem! [Someone else said, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. ] How can you use what you have learned/survived to help others? [This is what, I believe, you and Bessie are in the process of doing.]
I suffered depression badly as a child and young person. As an adult, my beliefs, and the ability to write out, sketch out my feelings and to LAUGH made a difference! )

By: wanderer

wanderer — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 16:44:34 +0000

one thing that I discovered about depression is that it can be a habit pattern of the mind. I found Vipassana meditation to be tremendously helpful in teaching me to notice this habit pattern and then to stop reacting to it. It took me some time of practicing to eradicate it, but depression is like a little plant, once you get it by the roots it can’t come back. http://www.dhamma.org It is the course from hell, well really, it is heaven and hell all rolled into one, quite the experience!

By: Eunice Ann Carr

Eunice Ann Carr — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 15:57:46 +0000

“As a man thinks in his heart, so is he”, I like this.
Plus the story that an old Cheroke indian told his little grandson about a battle that goes on inside of people.
He said, “My son the fight is between ‘two wolves inside us all’.
One is Evil.
It is anger,envy,jelousy,sorrow,regret,greed,arrogance,self-pity
guilt,resentment,inferiority,lies,false pride,superiority,selfish.
The other is good.
It is joy,love,peace,hope,serenity,humility,kindness,thoughtful, benevolence,truth,generousity,compassion,empathy,truth and faith” and forgiving.”
The little fellow thought about it for a minute,looked up at his grandpa and breathlessly asked..”oh Grandpa, which wolf wins?” and the old man said simply,
..”the one you feed”.
All the very best to you all for this “New beginning”
RECONCILED 1

By: Carmel Hards

Carmel Hards — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 13:55:55 +0000

I too have suffered with the long standing issue of major depression. It not only effects me, but also my husband, our 2 adult children & their spouse/partner.I found myself shrouded in a very thick fog & nothing that I can do about it. I have been on ’suicide watch’ a few times in the earlier days. I was dragged kicking & screaming to a truly dedicated Psychiatrist who is responsible for my surviving this ugly chapter of my life. Having a truly traumatic childhood, the death of our first baby & then my brilliant dad died from a rampant cancer. None of these issues had ever been ‘dealt with’. I had a mountain to climb if I wanted to survive these challenges. My ‘unfogging’ took the best part of 15 years.
To anybody who is/has been in this situation there is a safer/happier life around the corner. You can not see it yet, but grab an excellent psychiatrist & do not let go until it is your time to do so.
I was so very lucky. My husband & our children stood by me when all else was falling down. School can be a dreadful experience, particularly with a mother who has a severe mental illness. I am only now finding out bits & pieces of what our children endured as a result of my illness. Some families were supportive, others were not. My experience was that of the latter.At least I knew where I & my family stood.Very little of that has changed.
I had my last appointment with ‘my shrink’ last week. It feels very positive not to be under his care, but also scary at the same time. I have faith in me. I am sure there will be times that will scare the living daylights out of me. I can cope with that. My depression is caused by trauma, which I had no control over.As long as I keep taking my medication I should be symptom free. The black dog will always be in the corner & I have to watch it as intensely as it watches me. I know that I am winning this feud. A lot of hard work has gone into my sanity, it is not always easy, but then what is? These words are my rock…FIGHT, FIGHT, & FIGHT
AGAIN. It has worked for me so far & I am living proof that lights are at the end of a very long tunnel.

By: littlesparrow45

littlesparrow45 — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 11:55:58 +0000

Ah! I see Geoff – you do know what the flow is. I am sure you will recognize it along the way and take notice when you feel yourself fighting the flow.
I really do believe you and your family will do very well on this experiment of yours.
Depression is a thing everyone is faced with from time to time. I believe that if you just do not like the experience all that much – you will pull yourself out of it for something you want and love much more. I think though that depression is a thing we all must experience so we can recognize and appreciate its opposite when we experience that. Life is full of the good and the not so good of it all. I think it is all a part of qualifying for the next life. It is one of life’s experiences and we have to learn to master the art of rising above its pull. It usually hits when we are exhausted or very tired. The answer is to make sure you get sufficient R&R in the course of your every day. If you find depression hit ask yourself what you have neglected in the R&R department lately. REST DIET RECREATION EXERCISE. I find if suffering from depression the quickest way out of it is to go do a few laps in the swimming pool you will get out of the pool on a real high. A lot higher than Drink or Drugs can make you. The swimming high is a healthy high too and leaves you feeling relaxed and happy. Try it. There will not be too many things get the better of you – you’ll see I’m right about this.

take care
littlesparrow45

By: Mim

Mim — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 11:34:54 +0000

Dear Geoff,

For me, your post about depression has come just at the right time. I am an organic farmer that looks like I am living the dream… doing something that I love, raising animals in a healthy and humane way. For the past couple of years I have been suffering on and off with that awful lethargy and despondency that clouds your judgement and makes everyday a looming mountain (but not one that you want to conquer… just one that lurks undermining confidence and happiness, making me feel like a failure in every aspect of my life.)

I will definitely try the visualization tool. Thanks so much for sharing with us all.